A hero is born and his name is Zee. Somehow Zee managed a trip to dreamland two nights in a row. Last night would have been the big number three but cries emanating from his room were not the normal whimpers he usually makes. Daddy responded to the 911. Daddy assessed the situation and sure enough, my boy had a wet nappy. Zee’s call was justified and I after a quick change and warm embrace I positioned him in his crib massaging his back and head. After a few minutes Zee traveled back to sleepy land. I actually thought I dreamt the whole thing until I bumped into the door on my way to my bed.This goes out to Rachel Banken who inspires me to write because she actually checks our Blog not monthly, not weekly, but daily. Thanks Rachel. Rachel (and anyone else that is having trouble with their baby sleeping through the night) here is how V and I have done it. I think every baby is different but here is what has worked for us. We go through the normal routine of bath, calm down time (hard for Papa), story time, and then Mommy will put him down for the night after he goes to milk town. The hardest part for Mom is walking out and leaving your little cherub all alone to cry it out. It’s not easy. Sorry to say every time you go back in to check on your gift to the world you are making it harder on him because you produce that beautiful Mommy scent. That love perfume that says I’m here and will give you milk, hold you, protect you, love you, and enable you to cry more and keep Momma and Papa up all night. So now you have three people sleep deprived instead of two…and hopefully none in a short time.
That’s where Daddy comes in. We are the cleaners/jackals (see the movie Le Femme Nikita) in this scenario and it sucks. Mom is depleted. She pumps early in the AM, goes to work, stresses and finds time to breast feed in between meetings, sometimes eats, and then comes home to her little miracle at night and plays, caresses, loves, and then pumps late at night before going to be. She forgets what sleeping more than two hours feels like. She wonders what day it is. Anyway, she calls in Daddy to take care of business. That’s what we Daddy’s do. Instead of sweet smellin’ Mommy coming to the rescue baby is caressed by Daddy. Here’s how I think Zee would see it - “Wait, why is Daddy here? He has no organic milk farm. He has a much different body odor and is much more hirsute than Momma. He tosses me around, makes me spew up my food, and creates red rashes all over my body from his unshaven face blowing air into my naked stomach that makes me giggle. I know he is cool and I feel safe, but crap, if only I had a bit of that Mommy perfume to sniff I could fall to sleep. I need my fix. Well, it looks like the milk truck may have left the station tonight and I’m stuck with Daddy. Ugggh, I’m tired…..whoaa, I’m sleeping like a baby.”
Put your man in charge of your baby tonight. Let baby cry for no more than ten minutes the first time then have him come and rub the baby’s back (Zee like to sleep on his stomach – I wouldn’t recommend this in the first six months due to SIDS). Zee likes to get up on all fours and bang his head against the mattress. I apply gentle pressure to hold his head down and caress the back of his head and back. I then leave the room. If he starts to cry I will time it for about 5 minutes. Then go back in and massage him again. I don’t pick him and I don’t talk to him (I did pick him up, talk to him and sing to him at first but I wouldn’t recommend it because it didn’t help). If your man is like me he will want to run in at the sound of even the slightest whimper….DONT DO IT! Let the little guy whimper and cry a bit (five -10 minutes) to see if he will adjust himself. If baby keeps crying just repeat the above routine. It is well worth it for the both of you. I have been sleeping in another room so Vanessa doesn’t even know what is going on. If she did she would come to Zee’s aid. Last night after V put him to bed he didn’t stop crying so V went back in to talk with Zee to let him know it was ok. I had to kick her out and remind her that she had violated the code. Yep, it’s a code alright and it’s an understanding Daddy and son have in the same way you and baby bond through breast feeding. I do recognize when Zee needs me though. Last night his cry was louder and I knew something was up. Sure enough he needed a nappy change and went back to sleep. A baby will generally cry for a reason. At first it is due to the routine and having Momma there but I think after they understand how nice it is to sleep through the night the baby wakes up for different reasons…mainly because he is cold, needs a baby change, or sick.
It only took me one night to get Zee on track. I woke up maybe twice. The first time was about 30 minutes and the second time it was an hour. That is 1.5 hours of sleep which is nothing. Your man may be a zombie for the first few days but he’ll be glad he did it for the three of you. I hope this helps you Rachel. Let us know what happens and thanks for reading our blog.
