It’s 0355 in the dark of the morning as Andy suddenly appears wide-eyed after cutting through the Kampung near my house. “Holy shit man, you won’t believe the size of the rat I just saw! I thought it was a cat but when I got close it hopped out of the way and had the largest freakin' tail I’ve ever seen.” I laugh and tell him he has mistaken a rat for the famed Civet cat that resembles a possum. We do our hill workout in the neighborhood before running up to Barbie’s place at 0430. Barbie had wanted to sleep in this morning after a meeting that took her to 10:00 the previous night. I don’t blame her. Barbie is one of those super-human types who is always doing something. Sitting down is as foreign to Barbie as it is for most people to eat the coffee beans from Civet cat scat.
I re-tell Andy’s rat story to Barb and she laughs and tells us about the time her friend had a large dinner party. Everything was in place and her house was decorated to the nines. All of a sudden the guests who are now seated at the very large elegant table made of the finest Indonesian wood hear a noise from the ceiling. [In Indonesia it is very common to have Civet cats crawl into the ceilings as they are nocturnal creatures and seek out dark areas. The problem is that these marsupials will often urinate on the wood weakening the structure of the ceiling. The other claim to fame the Civet cats have are that they are also known to choose the best coffee by eating the fruit away from the coffee bean. The raw bean is then collected from the scat (excrement) of the cat and processed into the finest coffee in the world. This is true. My friend’s family works in this industry and most of these very expensive beans are shipped to Japan consumers.] As the guests speculate what the hell is going on the ceiling suddenly caves in falling on the mouth watering victuals, cocktails, and fine crystal leaving a very scared and large marsupial standing on the table with nowhere to go. Barb wasn’t certain who was more horror-stricken – the Civet cat, the guests, or the hostess of this freak show who feared the guests would spread word of the rat that came to dinner. The Civet cat decides to scurry off into an adjacent room. The hostess yells for her guard to come and take care of this evil beast that has dropped in unexpected from the skies tainting her reputation. The guard confidently enters the room with sickle in hand. After a few thrashes and screams the guard emerges covered with blood and a few pieces of hair and flesh in hand. The room, a cultural wonderland of Indonesian pieces, now has walls splashed with the color of Civet cat blood and decorated with various marsupial body parts. Dessert was not served.
Andy is wide-eyed again and says, “Uh oh, that’s why my ceiling has yellow patches on it. I just thought it was from the rain leaking in.” You better get that checked before you have us over for dinner!
